tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73630414856967867172024-03-13T05:26:31.808-07:00a flash of truthMy blog is about me, and my not so active life as a shut-in 16 year oldsunnyshadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13963447312845583334noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7363041485696786717.post-4979551712024256462011-08-21T14:18:00.000-07:002011-08-21T14:18:58.246-07:00Senior Year Vol. IThis marks the end of the first two weeks of school. Unfortunately some things never change, when it comes to those dreaded free time moments in class, i still sit there by myself or standing just wishing time could go by faster. My favorite class is World Lit., but just because of the people in it. I love the kids most are either from my English class last year or kids who i already get along with. Yet my least favorite teacher is my English teacher, I guess there is always a downside. She is new, and replaced my favorite teacher when he left. I know this year is going to be so tough, yes it is an honors course but the things she expects are way to high. My entire class is fed up with her, she also gets very loud and starts to argue, when one of us speaks out. I think maybe it is because she is intimidated by us, when it comes to my class, not just English but graduating we are very stubborn and outspoken. sunnyshadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13963447312845583334noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7363041485696786717.post-63252700664472802932011-08-06T17:37:00.000-07:002011-08-06T17:37:27.496-07:00This is what I deal with.I decided to finish off this week early, yesterday like i said i got together with my family for a quick dinner and some cake. I wouldn't say I had fun because really my sister and I just don't really belong there. Don't get me wrong I love my family but none of them are anything like us. The easiest but not the nicest way to put it is that we're smart and they aren't. Maybe cultured is a better word? Its like they live in the past, for example, one of the arguments we had last night dealt with lgbt community. I just hate how stereotypical, judgemental, annoying and homophobic they are. Is it wrong for my sisters and I to believe in non-gender bias when raising a child? They act like the world is going to end because an 18 month old baby wants to play with the pink barbie phone, or wear rainbow beads with playing. My favorite freaked most recently has to be when my four year old cousin was playing with two dolls and her Grandmother freaked out because she was making them kiss, when I told my cousin kissing was for grownups, her grandmother turned to me and was more freaked out because she was making two girl dolls kiss. I just hate that I have to bite my tongue so much when I'm around them because I disagree on almost every subject with them. When I have children I want them to feel comfortable with who they are Gay or straight, even interracial marriage bothers my family. Even though I know wishing 1000 "gay, Asian, black..."babies on them isn't the right thing to do, it makes me feel better at those times.sunnyshadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13963447312845583334noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7363041485696786717.post-30168884883421026092011-08-04T15:58:00.000-07:002011-08-04T15:58:12.721-07:00Where Have I been!I can't believe that I didn't post all summer. What was I thinking. Today logging in I began to thinking "wow I really do miss blogging". The number one reason I am here now is because its that time of the year again, a few days till school starts and I'm trying my best to finish up the summer projects i was given. Of course I am just procrastinating, but at least I'm doing something worthwhile now. Tomorrow is my birthday, which i am not excited about. Birthdays for my sisters and I never seem to work out all to well. I think I might just be having cake and ice cream with my family for a short time. I've begun becoming nervous due to the fear of returning to school. I'm so nervous for people to ask me what I did this summer because i really have nothing to say. Also I never made that dumb facebook like I promised my friend Ronnie I would. I plan on writing again at least once a week. Maybe my next post I'll talk about my classes, or basically my first week of that last year of high school i have left.sunnyshadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13963447312845583334noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7363041485696786717.post-44951817514559207012011-03-31T20:42:00.000-07:002011-03-31T20:42:32.833-07:00Im goingLast week i went and bought my dress for prom, I like it but of course i dread other people seeing me in it, even though i know it looks nice. Im so nervous, I'm worried about how the night is going to go and how I'm going to get ready and now i have to dance. This would only be my second time dancing in public. I hate that i can't dance which is why i haven't been to any school dances before and why i don't go to the very few parties I've been invited to. At least i have a my shoes, dress and a table to sit at. All week i was waiting for a Ronnie to ask me to come to her house before prom to get ready and hang out but she hasn't i don't even know what she is planning on doing. But this morning one of my friends asked me if i wanted to come to her house, i said i would but i would much rather of gotten ready with Ronnie and her friends. The friend who asked me to go to her house made me kind of upset three times this week. First she told me i should really try to get my ticket fast because her table was filling up and she didn't want me to be all alone like a loner. Second when she was talking about the table she mentioned a boy who was going to sit with us, and how he had no idea who i was or had never heard my name. Then she says isn't that funny. Then when she asked me to come to her house she said something very similar like she didn't want me to be with no one, or be by myself. Writing this it sounds stupid but hearing her say those things just made me feel bad about myself, that i don't have a lot of friends or know a lot of people.sunnyshadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13963447312845583334noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7363041485696786717.post-25292065518263770422011-03-17T08:44:00.000-07:002011-03-17T08:44:02.399-07:00to prom or not to prom?Currently I'm on spring break, but since my mother had to work all week we didn't plan to do anything fun. Nor did i get invited to do anything with my friends, although some of them went to Chicago for some kind of school music event. Anyways yesterday or two days ago I told my mom about prom, and that i needed to start looking for a dress and what not. I didn't realize how soon prom is actually going to be, for some reason the date was changed and moved up early so really prom was suppose to be like during the end or begining of april/may but now its the first week of april. Im so nervous, i think i want to go but i really don't plan on being asked, so already im getting so scared about the night. Then theres the other things i have to think about, like money. So many kids at my school have so much money and i hate asking my parents to buy me things. Now i have to go dress shopping and i plan on asking my sister to come with me, but i think she hates shopping just as much as i do. Thers two things that i hate about shopping.<br />
1. I hate the fact that i might run into or see people i know,<br />
2. I usually hate to spend money because i never grew up with money to spend<br />
3. I'm so unconfrotable with my body so i wear nothing i want to.sunnyshadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13963447312845583334noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7363041485696786717.post-56346594912420476892011-03-09T17:35:00.000-08:002011-03-09T17:35:12.298-08:00The New Semster, (late)When this semester started i don't think much changed for me at first other than one class that made me happy, and one that makes me feel such a loner. My first is my social studies class. The first day of the semester i walked in, and i was the first one not even my teacher was there so i sat down, got up, and chose another sit. Then i hear a gasp/yell and it was girl i considered freshman year my best friend, basically. Ronnie, freshman year we talked soo much and ate lunch together but then sophomore year we didn't have any classes together are the same luch. So things became awkward i think between us because even freshman year and now i don't know what to say to her sometimes. But this semester we're close again and i hang out with her all the time at school. I thought i was going to write more but this seems to be boring.sunnyshadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13963447312845583334noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7363041485696786717.post-70343436701816468772011-03-06T14:26:00.000-08:002011-03-06T14:26:42.533-08:00Children!!!Why are kids so difficult? I've been babysitting since Friday afternoon and i want to get rid of these kids. I hate the way some parents raise their kids. I mean I how hard is it for people to say no. From what my mom has told me people used to tell her that we, my sisters and i weren't normal kids. They'd say that because we didn't run around screaming or throwing fits. At parties we were the ones who sat quietly and played together to listened to the conversations. You guys tell me if im wrong or what you think about these things.<br />
<br />
-I said no to them going to sleep with a sippy cup of milk, you're four and three no need for bottles and to ruin your teeth.<br />
- You go to bed when i say not at 12 or 2 in the morning<br />
- No tv when you're going to bed, i learned the first time that you don't fall asleep but stay up for two and a half hours.<br />
-Crying is meaningless, if you don't talk i leave you alone.<br />
- Lastly im not going to cuddle or baby you after you fall off the coffee table, its your fault you didn't listen the first 100 times i told you not to.sunnyshadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13963447312845583334noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7363041485696786717.post-52539369431804161502011-03-03T17:56:00.000-08:002011-03-03T17:56:49.478-08:00Is it the weekend already?To go to school or not. <br />
I got home today and thought it was Friday, I don't know if its because i don't have actual classes tomorrow or just because I'm home all alone. Today my sister punched me, on accident it was more of her raising her fist and me being behind her, needless to say i got a really bad bloody nose. Which i actually get all the time but i stayed in the car while they went to the store trying to make it stop. I just thought of something that is kinda making me cry, which it totally shouldn't and i feel dumb now but maybe i will post something about it because i don't think i have. And really i've never spoken to anyone really about it.<br />
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<br />
AHH i hate that i always say im going to post something and i don't so sorry if you never hear this story.sunnyshadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13963447312845583334noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7363041485696786717.post-52695014054930558612011-03-02T20:30:00.000-08:002011-03-02T20:30:21.167-08:00wasteful weekIt's only Wednesday and I am already ready for the weekend. Im so tired right now and its only 9:23 since Saturday i've been going to bed around 11:30 and waking up at 5:30. This morning consisted of me taking a shower, writing a five page essay and dropping my breakfast on the way out the door. Way too much for only three days of schools. Friday i have this event thing at school and i think i may just skip it. It's suppose to be a fun day but i just find the activities embarrassing so i don't play or participate. But for those kids that don't go it counts as three absences. This weekend is going to be so busy, not only do i have to start and finish an oral presentation, which im so angry about, no notes, no powerpoints and only a print out of one pictures, but i also have to do a two chapter outline for my history of gov class, hours of work and baby sit two kids Friday when i get out of school and all of Saturday and Sunday. <br />
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I really should edit this but im tired and going to sleep.sunnyshadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13963447312845583334noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7363041485696786717.post-67500382969126906692011-02-27T08:59:00.000-08:002011-02-27T08:59:11.707-08:00The lack ofWake up its freezing.<br />
Check facebook, everyone got snow.<br />
Look out my window.<br />
Nothing.sunnyshadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13963447312845583334noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7363041485696786717.post-84334109821791262022011-02-25T19:50:00.000-08:002011-02-25T19:50:58.173-08:00BreakI had yesterday and today off from school, so four day weekend. YAY, no not really. I was still given enough work to make up for the lost school time. I was suppose to sign up for my classes this week but i keep putting it off. I hate that I have to make these decisions. Like do the classes i take rally effect what colleges and universities i can get into? At first i was going to take three AP classes but then i started thinking that, that was too much with the other two honors i have. So when i go back to school I'm going to talk to my friends about it. Oh my next blog im going to talk about how this semester changed/friends situation.sunnyshadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13963447312845583334noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7363041485696786717.post-8387623523097821542011-02-23T05:19:00.000-08:002011-02-23T05:19:30.615-08:00New Beginning, Hopefully.I hate that I've left this blog to die, but I'm back hopefully. I want to say that school is too much, which is partly true, but I've decided the reason i never want to come blog is 1. I think i never have anything good to say. 2. Logging in in such a hassle because then i am forced to read all the new post of the blogs i follow, i can read just one i have to read them all. My new goal is to try and post something everyday, not long blogs but just a quick check in or quote from my day. I really should stop writing because it's morning and i should be getting ready but instead I've been on the computer for thirtyfive minutes. Okay bye.sunnyshadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13963447312845583334noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7363041485696786717.post-15174719734821848622011-01-02T19:34:00.000-08:002011-01-02T19:34:24.421-08:00I Hate SchoolI go back to school in one day. I actually thought that I started tomorrow but someone posted on facebook that my school is better because we don't go back the same day everyone else in my town does. So I'm super happy that I have one more day of break to sit around and d nothing. For some reason This past year I started to hate school. When i was younger i loved school but being in high school without a real group of friends i find the same comfort of school like i used to, and my classes are so hard and boring. <br />
<br />
So my New Years Eve was awful. I fell asleep alone in my room watching How I Met Your Mother, which is my new favorite show. I wasn't even awake to see the ball drop, I woke up because my neighbors were shooting fireworks.sunnyshadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13963447312845583334noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7363041485696786717.post-9019479114879418402010-12-24T11:13:00.000-08:002010-12-24T11:13:24.951-08:00Yea I'm Kinda WeirdThis break was suppose to be my free time to catch up on all the shows I haven't watched in five weeks because school is just to much work. But nonetheless i have done absolutely nothing that i had wanted to do. I have wasted my time away watching videos on YouTube, about makeup, Which if you knew me would be weird. I came up with three or four tings i thought I would mention in this blog. The first thing is collecting. I've never mentioned before how I collect things, well i call it saving but my mom calls it packratting. Everything that someone had touched or written me i keep. I have a box full of useless things that i keep like erasers, pens pencils, paper, cards, toys, hair ties, cameras. I'm not sure when exactly i started to keep things but i know i have stuff from when i was in the first grade. The reason i keep stuff or at least my excuse is so that i won't forget. Everything i have has some kind of memory to it which repaints a picture for me. Little papers and dead flower petals are important to me because they are all that is left of my old friends. I don't talk to them or see them and it just reminds me of when I actually felt loved. One thing that i actually collected that doesn't have a bond to people is rocks. I loved rocks, i had a box that i would keep all the rocks i found in. Still today id i find a rock that is a cool color or shape i pick it up and keep it. I think that i will post tomorrow about the last two things.sunnyshadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13963447312845583334noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7363041485696786717.post-21590938736509053472010-12-15T05:32:00.000-08:002010-12-15T05:32:17.015-08:00FinalsSo i know that i said i would be blogging but i forgot to mention that i have finals this week. So my lack of TV watching blogging and other things has be due to the fact that i am studying or being distracted from my studying wasting time. So with a little bit of time i had free this morning i thought i would post. Today is the penultimate day of school. But today is also the day i have to do the most work. Yup i have to catch up on all the last things i need to turn in for classes i am suppose to be done with. Finals really aren't that bad, well no they are hard and everyone at my school goes through a major meltdown this week. I don't want to sound a a nerd or crazy person like my family calls me because i am mad that i have a 89 in a class instead of a A. What don't they get, just one point and i get an A, which i need to keep my GPA up. So i wanted to say more that this is all the time i have okay i promise to blog durning the break, maybe i will update on the movies i will be watching.sunnyshadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13963447312845583334noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7363041485696786717.post-34281981409966528422010-12-07T17:05:00.000-08:002010-12-07T17:05:47.133-08:00Im Back!I don't want to give up on this blog, i have to do, i always give things up and this can't be one. I want to blame my school work for not blogging or that i;ve been too busy. But really i just didn't want to. All i do is go on the computer but i have nothing to say. So i have this week of school then finals next week. So with the semester ending i have winter formal coming up. I really want to go but then i don't. i don't have money to buy a dress or shoes, and I'm not sure who i want to go with. By that which group of friends i am going to attach myself to. SO. ahh I NEED TO STOP SAYING SO. Since formal is coming up these past two weeks have been full of guys asking girls to formal, in cute ways, halls with have huge posters or banners. Girls carrying flowers around with them, or balloons, glitter is everywhere and there is always a crowd around a person who is going to ask someone. Today kinda sucked for me, but really i don't know why i am complaining. So this morning i walked into the courtyard and glanced to the right where i saw the guy i liked, and im pretty sure hes noticed me. But i walked to my friend who needed to barrow a book which i didn't have so she dragged me to the group of guys who MT was standing with. I am just so awkward i hate it. We walked away and i keep staring back at them and then i saw MT take his shirt off. He was asking a girl to Formal. I just hope that eventually i will talk to both the guys i like, but i probably won't.sunnyshadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13963447312845583334noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7363041485696786717.post-63650290428538916652010-11-13T17:30:00.000-08:002010-11-13T17:30:52.584-08:00Blah!I haven't posted in ten days i think, which has seemed like forever. But the reason is because i have nothing to say. I thought i would update you guys on my boy situation, not that its changed much but maybe next post will be about that. <br />
So my two favorite song right now Jolene- By Dolly Parton not the white Stripes and Strict Machine by Goldfrapp. Now if you haven't heard them you should really go and listen to them. Really i get made fun of so much because of the music i listen to, nothing is really current music. And these two song are nothing alike but i love them. What i hate right now is Taylor Swift. I swear if i hear another girl quote a Taylor swift song i will die. Before i liked Taylor swift but for some reason when this new album came out i was just so angry with it. Maybe its the fact the the songs are just so embarrassing or maybe its because the day the CD came out i had to listen to it in every class and watch the girls in class lip sync to it. <br />
Also I've been shopping some online this week, or at least window shopping. Well i guess you wouldn't call it window shopping since there is no window but whatever. I decided that date or no date i am going to go to both winter formal and prom. So i have been looking for dress options and i hate that all the dresses i like are so expensive. The other things i have been looking for is three shirts, a Velvet Under ground or Nico, a Captain marvel shirt a red one with just the lighting bolt, and a Reptar shirt. <br />
<br />
Heres links to the songs <br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1em4g7oWJw">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1em4g7oWJw</a><br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGEubdH8m0s">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGEubdH8m0s</a>sunnyshadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13963447312845583334noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7363041485696786717.post-43348728641932380132010-11-03T20:46:00.000-07:002010-11-03T20:46:36.107-07:00What do you do?I think its pretty simple to describe myself as socially awkward. I don't mean to be, but really who does. Its just that how are you suppose to know what to say, OK i know that for everyone its easy just to talk, but i think that my problem is that I'm afraid to say something dumb or totally out there. Whatever really what I am unsure of is how do i talk to the guy i like. He isn't in any of my classes and if i just noticed him this year he has probably never noticed me or even know my name. Why is it that everything is so hard for me, or is me that makes everything so hard. Yup probably the second one. That's what i hate most about myself, how i regret so much. Why do i have such a problem with just taking risks. There's just so much i want to do later in life. Ahh i hate that my blog has become just a place for me to cry about how much I hate life.sunnyshadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13963447312845583334noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7363041485696786717.post-74839387637882391062010-10-31T13:29:00.000-07:002010-10-31T13:29:26.861-07:00.I love when its quite enough for me to hear the train whistle, from five miles away.<br />
It seems as though the whole world is quite for that brief moment just for me.sunnyshadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13963447312845583334noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7363041485696786717.post-67434057700744063332010-10-26T20:34:00.000-07:002010-10-31T13:38:20.895-07:00AwfulToday I had to do probably the most embarrassing thing I've ever done in class. But first I think I'll list some embarrassing things I've had to do in class, or have happened to me at school. And let me say their have been a lot.<br />
<ul><li>Having to get up in class to sing and dance to a made song based off of Romeo Juliet</li>
<li>Play ride that pony, with a Priest</li>
<li>Trip down the bleachers during an assembly</li>
<li>saying orgasm instead of organism</li>
<li>late to class so a ran in and sat down in my seat then noticed i had walked into the wrong classroom</li>
<li>having pad wrapper stuck to my shoe</li>
</ul>But today had to be one of the most embarrassing moments ever.<br />
In science we started to do little labs on dealing with pressure, volume and temperature. The first lab had two balloons and an empty 2 liter soda bottle. So i thought that we were just going to be put baking soda and vinegar in the bottle to watch the balloon expand. But boy was i wrong. The two boys in my group had the instructions so i wasn't able to read them. I was writing down the homework and when i turned around i saw everyone in my group with their FINGER ON THEIR NOSE. No! I hate nose-goes. But i didn't know why they didn't want to do the lab. Here's why the instructions were<br />
Place balloon inside the bottle, stretch the top of the balloon over the mouth of the bottle, now place mouth on bottle and blow the balloon up inside of the bottle. The whole time i did this everyone in class was staring at me. The boys at my table were making jokes about me having to blow, how it was good practice, and blahh. Not only did they fun of me because i had to blow but i couldn't get the balloon over the tip of the bottle. Great more sex jokes directed at me.<br />
<br />
<br />
This is how the bottle looked except it was bigger.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_0HYlQ01a3JM/TMedL3xRlDI/AAAAAAAAABY/iTaTAFSqUUA/s1600/balloon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" nx="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_0HYlQ01a3JM/TMedL3xRlDI/AAAAAAAAABY/iTaTAFSqUUA/s1600/balloon.jpg" /></a></div>sunnyshadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13963447312845583334noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7363041485696786717.post-47477656229148850312010-10-25T17:49:00.000-07:002010-10-25T17:49:18.242-07:00Old FriendFor some reason last week I thought about my friend from middle school Andy. The three years i was in middle school my relationship with Andy changed quite alot. I only have two memories of Andy from sixth grade, one is really embarrassing the other not so much. My first memory of Andy is him coming up to me and asking me why i stared at his friend so much. Of course that friend was Danny, but just thinking about how he said that to me make me blush and become nervous. The other memory of him in sixth grade was him standing on the side of the basketball court asking me and Danny to let him play a game Danny and i were playing. It wasn't till seventh grade that i really got to notice Andy. He and i had most of our classes together like i did with most kids. But the story of us is really funny. Andy sat in front of me in math class, one day he pulled something out of pocket like gum or a pencil and a dollar fell out. I picked it up but couldn't give it to him right away , i don't remember why though. So it was maybe ten or fifteen minuets later and i handed him the dollar telling him that it had fallen out. That's when everything started. All of a sudden Andy was making a huge scene, pretty much screaming, being loud enough for the entire class to hear him. Among the things he was saying was, How dare you still my dollar and have the audacity to give it back, Shes so bad at stealing she returned what she took. For the rest of the year he told everyone that i stole his dollar. People not to trust me because i took his dollar. Really i honestly can say that Seventh Grade I hated Andy so much, i couldn't stand him.<br />
My last year in middle school my best friend came into my class, she was friends with Andy so we hung out alot together. That year i found out that Andy was funny and what use to make me hate him now made me love him, as a friend. That year Andy became the only person i talked to. We skipped class together to go to tutoring which ment sit in the library for an hour and talk. Its weird that in one year the person i hated the most at school became the person i depended on the most.<br />
<br />
Later i'll talk about him and i now.sunnyshadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13963447312845583334noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7363041485696786717.post-74609231828024669792010-10-23T08:20:00.000-07:002010-10-23T08:20:31.880-07:00Crazy MindI think that most people will think that I’m some crazy weirdo girl after I say this, because just thinking it makes me think so. But nonetheless I will tell you guys what is on my mind. <br />
<br />
I live in three worlds. <br />
The first is my crazy, wild and fun world. At night, during the day and morning I think about what a wish my life could be. This life is one where I party, drink and just be wild. I imagine myself hooking up with tons of random people, because in this world that seems to be the norm. When I imagine this life I see myself totally different than I am now. Here I have confidence, and don't care what others think of me. When I imagine myself living like this I don't think I wish I could, I just do whatever I want.<br />
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The second dream or world I live in is a place where I am very much like myself only better. I don't think about partying till all hours of the night, but I think about having that one guy who loves me. The guy who doesn't mind the times I want to say home and just watch TV, the one that will let me just stay with him without having to have sex, or do anything I don't want to do. In this fantasy I am funny, smart and outgoing. Able to keep track of the world and my on goings. What I think is most important is that here I have friends, real friends. The kind that actually talk to you or invite you to do things. <br />
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But of course I live in the third and most boring world. Here I am as self conscience as possible. The girl who never speaks out. At school I don't allow for my voice to be heard. In real life I am the girl who has nothing to do on a Friday, Saturday, or Sunday night. How pathetic is it that all I do is sit in my bed and come up with fantasies of how I wish my life was. The few people who I do call friends I only talk to at school. By that I mean I have one friend who I sit and eat lunch with and that is the only time we talk. <br />
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I think I’ll write another post later because there are so many things I want to say.sunnyshadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13963447312845583334noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7363041485696786717.post-13904336681876666262010-10-20T20:13:00.000-07:002010-10-20T20:13:20.057-07:00Horrible Post Sorry!It’s been about four days since last posted but it feels like I haven't written in forever! <br />
So right now I have really been having some hair issues. Ahh I hate that I even said that because I sound like such a girl. My dumb hair, its brown but a pretty shining brown and it has a curl and wave to it. The problem is that, that curl/wave doesn't always work so basically everyday my hair is just a big mess of brown frizz. Really I like my hair but no one else does, it’s because every girl at my school does their hair and it looks perfect but I could care less, I mean if nobody would say anything about my hair I would be fine. Deep down I like that I don't have average straight hair. Blaah I just realized how dumb and boring that whole Paragraph was, the whole point of talking about my hair was to say that if I could I would die it red. I love a bright red hair, it just makes people stand out and that’s what I think I want. <br />
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Next August I turn 17 which means that if I have my parents consent I could get a tattoo. For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted a tattoo on the inside of my middle finger. A lightning bolt. I know that if I wanted my mom would let me because basically she is the worst mom and couldn’t care about what I did at all. Yeah I know that most kids would love that but its weird that my mom makes fun of me because I don't go out and drink or sneak out to go to parties or clubs like she did when she was my age.<br />
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Last thing, today I went to an old book store and I found a Go Go's record. I hate that I didn't get it, because it was only four dollars. Vacation, is what I found but I found it on accident because I was looking through the B's for the Bangles and the Go Go's was there. But I put it back at the last minute because I found out that my dumb mother gave away het record player just a few months ago without telling me or asking me if I wanted it. So from this point on I am going to be looking for an old record player.sunnyshadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13963447312845583334noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7363041485696786717.post-12530472956156922932010-10-16T07:55:00.000-07:002010-10-16T08:15:05.952-07:00The GameSo last night i went to my homecoming game, right away i saw one of my friends, thank God, otherwise i would of been walking around like a total loser. So i was standing near the entrance for a pretty long time because i was waiting for my other friend. No really my first friend was waiting for her and i just stood there. But the part that i has been dreading was seeing kids from my old school. which of course happened I heard my name called and when i looked backed there was the guy i had liked for three years, all through middle school. And all i did was turn around and smile. What was i suppose to do, I don't think he slowed down, like he wanted me to go up to him and say hi or give him a hug, and he wasn't coming to me. Lets call him Danny. He had hes head shave pretty short which made his head look funny but just seeing him made me rethink about all the feeling and things i went through in middle school with him. I hated and i liked him when i was younger. He was the meanest kid to me, but maybe i didn't care sometimes because i thought somehow he liked me. For three years i watched him jump from girl to girl, all the girls liked him, because the was hot and had really pretty eyes. But i remember the times we played together or joked around. Him and I playing made up games in PE. But everything changed the last semester of eighth grade, he and all my other friends went to a different school and never did i talk to them again.<br />So last night he had a girl with him, but i didn't see her face because the was on this left side and looking forward. So this morning i turned on my computer and facebook stalked her, using my fake facebook account. Danny's girlfriend, they just started going out, but when i looked at her pictures i thought that she wasn't pretty or cute, Her face is so pointy. Really if heis girlfriend was prettier i wouldn't be so made because he never told me he liked me and i always thought that was because girls at our school were prettier than me and that made sense to me but now that hes dating someone not better looking than me think worst of myself. <br /><br /><br />Question- does anyone know why when i write a title for my post it changes into hindi or some weird symbol langauge?sunnyshadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13963447312845583334noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7363041485696786717.post-64739688310544822172010-10-15T16:13:00.000-07:002010-10-15T16:22:01.366-07:00dull weekIm so bored, and out of the ten blogs a follow no one had posted a new blog in forever. So I decided to post. There isn't much new news on my side. yet i think i can write a long blog about nothing. Well tonight is my schools homecoming, this is going to be the first football game i am going to go to this year. The reason i don't go to the games is because if i go my mom goes and my family which means they might see how much of a loser i am at school. But tonight i will be going, my biggest fear is that i will see someone from my old school and that when i get to the game i won't see any of my friends. <br />I am now sixteen and i still don't drive. I haven't even gotten my permit. the problem is that if i did drive i would be forced to run errands for everyone in my family, pay for gas, pay somekind of insureance, and most important I would probbably have to buy my own car.sunnyshadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13963447312845583334noreply@blogger.com0