Senior Year Vol. I

This marks the end of the first two weeks of school. Unfortunately some things never change, when it comes to those dreaded free time moments in class, i still sit there by myself or standing just wishing time could go by faster. My favorite class is  World Lit., but just because of the people in it. I love the kids most are either from my English class last year or kids who i already get along with. Yet my least favorite teacher is my English teacher, I guess there is always a downside. She is new, and replaced my favorite teacher when he left. I know this year is going to be so tough, yes it is an honors course but the things she expects are way to high. My entire class is fed up with her, she also gets very loud and starts to argue,  when one of us speaks out.  I think maybe it is because she is intimidated by us, when it comes to my class, not just English but graduating we are very stubborn and outspoken.

This is what I deal with.

I decided to finish off this week early, yesterday like i said i got together with my family for a quick dinner and some cake. I wouldn't say I had fun because really my sister and I just don't really belong there. Don't get me wrong I love my family but none of them are anything like us. The easiest but not the nicest way to put it is that we're smart and they aren't. Maybe cultured is a better word? Its like they live in the past, for example, one of the arguments we had last night dealt with lgbt community. I just hate how stereotypical, judgemental, annoying and homophobic they are. Is it wrong for my sisters and I to believe in non-gender bias when raising a child? They act like the world is going to end because an 18 month old baby wants to play with the pink barbie phone, or wear rainbow beads with playing. My favorite freaked most recently has to be when my four year old cousin was playing with two dolls and her Grandmother freaked out because she was making them kiss, when I told my cousin kissing was for grownups, her grandmother turned to me and was more freaked out because she was making two girl dolls kiss. I just hate that I have to bite my tongue so much when I'm around them because I disagree on almost every subject with them. When I have children I want them to feel comfortable with who they are Gay or straight, even interracial marriage bothers my family.  Even though I know wishing 1000 "gay, Asian, black..."babies on them isn't the right thing to do, it makes me feel better at those times.

Where Have I been!

I can't believe that I didn't post all summer. What was I thinking. Today logging in I began to thinking "wow I really do miss blogging". The number one reason I am here now is because its that time of the year again, a few days till school starts and I'm trying my best to finish up the summer projects i was given. Of course I am just procrastinating, but at least I'm doing something worthwhile now. Tomorrow is my birthday, which i am not excited about. Birthdays for my sisters and I never seem to work out all to well. I think I might just be having cake and ice cream with my family for a short time. I've begun becoming nervous due to the fear of returning to school. I'm so nervous for people to ask me what I did this summer because i really have nothing to say.  Also I never made that dumb facebook like I promised my friend Ronnie I would. I plan on writing again at least once a week. Maybe my next post I'll talk about my classes, or basically my first week of that last year of high school i have left.

Im going

Last week i went and bought my dress for prom, I like it but of course i dread other people seeing me in it, even though i know it looks nice. Im so nervous, I'm worried about how the night is going to go and how I'm going to get ready and now i have to dance. This would only be my second time dancing in public. I hate that i can't dance which is why i haven't been to any school dances before and why i don't go to the very few parties I've been invited to. At least i have a my shoes, dress and a table to sit at. All week i was waiting for a Ronnie to ask me to come to her house before prom to get ready and hang out but she hasn't i don't even know what she is planning on doing. But this morning one of my friends asked me if i wanted to come to her house, i said i would but i would much rather of gotten ready with Ronnie and her friends. The friend who asked me to go to her house made me kind of upset three times this week. First she told me i should really try to get my ticket fast because her table was filling up and she didn't want me to be all alone like a loner. Second when she was talking about the table she mentioned a boy who was going to sit with us, and how he had no idea who i was or had never heard my name. Then she says isn't that funny. Then when she asked me to come to her house she said something very similar like she didn't want me to be with no one, or be by myself. Writing this it sounds stupid but hearing her say those things just made me feel bad about myself, that i don't have a lot of friends or know a lot of people.

to prom or not to prom?

Currently I'm on spring break, but since my mother had to work all week we didn't plan to do anything fun. Nor did i get invited to do anything with my friends, although some of them went to Chicago for some kind of school music event. Anyways yesterday or two days ago I told my mom about prom, and that i needed to start looking for a dress and what not. I didn't realize how soon prom is actually going to be, for some reason the date was changed and moved up early so really prom was suppose to be like during the end or begining of april/may but now its the first week of april. Im so nervous, i think i want to go but i really don't plan on being asked, so already im getting so scared about the night. Then theres the other things i have to think about, like money. So many kids at my school have so much money and i hate asking my parents to buy me things. Now i have to go dress shopping and i plan on asking my sister to come with me, but i think she hates shopping just as much as i do. Thers two things that i hate about shopping.
1. I hate the fact that i might run into or see people i know,
2. I usually hate to spend money because i never grew up with money to spend
3. I'm so unconfrotable with my body so i wear nothing i want to.

The New Semster, (late)

When this semester started i don't think much changed for me at first other than one class that made me happy, and one that makes me feel such a loner. My first is my social studies class. The first day of the semester i walked in, and i was the first one not even my teacher was there so i sat down, got up, and chose another sit. Then i hear a gasp/yell and it was girl i  considered freshman year my best friend, basically. Ronnie, freshman year we talked soo much and ate lunch together but then sophomore year we didn't have any classes together are the same luch. So things became awkward i think between us because even freshman year and now i don't know what to say to her sometimes. But this semester we're close again and i hang out with her all the time at school. I thought i was going to write more but this seems to be boring.

Children!!!

Why are kids so difficult? I've been babysitting since Friday afternoon and i want to get rid of these kids.  I hate the way some parents raise their kids. I mean I how hard is it for people to say no. From what my mom has told me people used to tell her that we, my sisters and i weren't normal kids. They'd say that because we didn't run around screaming or throwing fits. At parties we were the ones who sat quietly and played together to listened to the conversations. You guys tell me if im wrong or what you think about these things.

-I said no to them going to sleep with a sippy cup of milk, you're four and three no need for bottles and to ruin your teeth.
- You go to bed when i say not at 12 or 2 in the morning
- No tv when you're going to bed,   i learned the first time that you don't fall asleep but stay up for two and a half hours.
-Crying is meaningless, if you don't talk  i leave you alone.
- Lastly im not going to cuddle or baby you after you fall off the coffee table,  its your fault you didn't listen the first 100 times i told you not to.