Thursday, March 31, 2011

Im going

Last week i went and bought my dress for prom, I like it but of course i dread other people seeing me in it, even though i know it looks nice. Im so nervous, I'm worried about how the night is going to go and how I'm going to get ready and now i have to dance. This would only be my second time dancing in public. I hate that i can't dance which is why i haven't been to any school dances before and why i don't go to the very few parties I've been invited to. At least i have a my shoes, dress and a table to sit at. All week i was waiting for a Ronnie to ask me to come to her house before prom to get ready and hang out but she hasn't i don't even know what she is planning on doing. But this morning one of my friends asked me if i wanted to come to her house, i said i would but i would much rather of gotten ready with Ronnie and her friends. The friend who asked me to go to her house made me kind of upset three times this week. First she told me i should really try to get my ticket fast because her table was filling up and she didn't want me to be all alone like a loner. Second when she was talking about the table she mentioned a boy who was going to sit with us, and how he had no idea who i was or had never heard my name. Then she says isn't that funny. Then when she asked me to come to her house she said something very similar like she didn't want me to be with no one, or be by myself. Writing this it sounds stupid but hearing her say those things just made me feel bad about myself, that i don't have a lot of friends or know a lot of people.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

to prom or not to prom?

Currently I'm on spring break, but since my mother had to work all week we didn't plan to do anything fun. Nor did i get invited to do anything with my friends, although some of them went to Chicago for some kind of school music event. Anyways yesterday or two days ago I told my mom about prom, and that i needed to start looking for a dress and what not. I didn't realize how soon prom is actually going to be, for some reason the date was changed and moved up early so really prom was suppose to be like during the end or begining of april/may but now its the first week of april. Im so nervous, i think i want to go but i really don't plan on being asked, so already im getting so scared about the night. Then theres the other things i have to think about, like money. So many kids at my school have so much money and i hate asking my parents to buy me things. Now i have to go dress shopping and i plan on asking my sister to come with me, but i think she hates shopping just as much as i do. Thers two things that i hate about shopping.
1. I hate the fact that i might run into or see people i know,
2. I usually hate to spend money because i never grew up with money to spend
3. I'm so unconfrotable with my body so i wear nothing i want to.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The New Semster, (late)

When this semester started i don't think much changed for me at first other than one class that made me happy, and one that makes me feel such a loner. My first is my social studies class. The first day of the semester i walked in, and i was the first one not even my teacher was there so i sat down, got up, and chose another sit. Then i hear a gasp/yell and it was girl i  considered freshman year my best friend, basically. Ronnie, freshman year we talked soo much and ate lunch together but then sophomore year we didn't have any classes together are the same luch. So things became awkward i think between us because even freshman year and now i don't know what to say to her sometimes. But this semester we're close again and i hang out with her all the time at school. I thought i was going to write more but this seems to be boring.

Sunday, March 6, 2011


Why are kids so difficult? I've been babysitting since Friday afternoon and i want to get rid of these kids.  I hate the way some parents raise their kids. I mean I how hard is it for people to say no. From what my mom has told me people used to tell her that we, my sisters and i weren't normal kids. They'd say that because we didn't run around screaming or throwing fits. At parties we were the ones who sat quietly and played together to listened to the conversations. You guys tell me if im wrong or what you think about these things.

-I said no to them going to sleep with a sippy cup of milk, you're four and three no need for bottles and to ruin your teeth.
- You go to bed when i say not at 12 or 2 in the morning
- No tv when you're going to bed,   i learned the first time that you don't fall asleep but stay up for two and a half hours.
-Crying is meaningless, if you don't talk  i leave you alone.
- Lastly im not going to cuddle or baby you after you fall off the coffee table,  its your fault you didn't listen the first 100 times i told you not to.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Is it the weekend already?

To go to school or not.
I got home today and thought it was Friday, I don't know if its because i don't have actual classes tomorrow or just because I'm home all alone. Today my sister punched me, on accident it was more of her raising her fist and me being behind her, needless to say i got a really bad bloody nose. Which i actually get all the time but i stayed in the car while they went to the store trying to make it stop.  I just thought of something that is kinda making me cry, which it totally shouldn't and i feel dumb now but maybe i will post something about it because i don't think i have. And really i've never spoken to anyone really about it.

AHH i hate that i always say im going to post something and i don't so sorry if you never hear this story.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

wasteful week

It's only Wednesday and I am already ready for the weekend. Im so tired right now and its only 9:23 since Saturday i've been going to bed around 11:30 and waking up at 5:30. This morning consisted of me taking a shower, writing a five page essay and dropping my breakfast on the way out the door. Way too much for only three days of schools. Friday i have this event thing at school and i think i may just skip it. It's suppose to be a fun day but i just find the activities embarrassing so i don't play or participate. But for those kids that don't go it counts as three absences.  This weekend is going to be so busy, not only do i have to start and finish an oral presentation, which im so angry about, no notes, no powerpoints and only a print out of one pictures, but i also have to do a two chapter outline for my history of gov class, hours of work and baby sit two kids Friday when i get out of school and all of Saturday and Sunday.

I really should edit this but im tired and going to sleep.